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How to Reel in More Than You Bargained For: Two fishermen, out at sea on a calm afternoon, casting their lines and swapping the latest gossip from town, are about to discover that there's more to fishing than just catching fish. When one of them feels an extraordinary tug on his line, they embark on a wild ride that leads to an unforgettable, and slightly confusing, encounter. Here's how to handle the moment when the catch of the day is... a mermaid!   Two fishermen are out at sea, casting their lines and chatting about the latest gossip in town... Suddenly, one of the fishermen feels a strong tug on his line. He nearly loses his balance, his chair teetering dangerously close to the edge of the boat... He grips the rod with all his might, his heart pounding with excitement. "I’ve got a big one!" he shouts, his voice a mix of thrill and strain... His friend leans over, eyes wide with anticipation. The fisherman reels in with all the strength he can muster, the rod bending in a way that suggests he’s caught something extraordinary... Finally, with one last mighty heave, the fisherman pulls up his catch, and they both gasp in unison. Dangling from the hook is a mermaid! Above her shimmering tail is the most breathtaking girl they’ve ever seen, with hair like spun gold and eyes as deep as the ocean... She gazes up at them, a blend of curiosity and gratitude in her expression... As if she’s just as surprised as they are by this unexpected turn of events. The fishermen are stunned, their jaws practically hitting the deck... They stare at her, unable to speak, their minds racing to process what they’re seeing. Finally, the fisherman who caught her breaks the silence... "You know," he says slowly, rubbing his chin as if trying to solve a particularly tricky riddle, "we should really let her go." His fishing buddy, who has been too busy trying to figure out if he’s hallucinating, snaps out of his daze and looks at him, puzzled... "Um, why?" he asks, genuinely confused by the suggestion. The fisherman turns to his friend, his expression equally as puzzled, and asks... "Um, how?"

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My wife came home early and caught me in bed with a beautiful woman! She screamed: “You filthy pig! How can you do this to me — to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!” I said: “Honey, please… just let me explain!” She crossed her arms: “Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.” So I told her: “Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her? I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it. She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower. While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary — the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store. Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.” "I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"

There was a small church that had a very big-busted organist. Long Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her, very discreetly, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a week! The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her nipples. The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said... 'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a thermon tewday.”

One day Jesus came across a mob surrounding a woman, armed with stones. He asks what’s happening, and they explain that she’s an adulteress and that the penalty for adultery is to be stoned to death. “Is that so?”, he replies. “In that case, whoever among you is free from sin, let them cast the first stone”. A woman at the back of the mob promptly throws a rock square at the head of the adulteress, killing her instantly. Jesus looks over at the woman who threw the stone and shakes his head sadly. “Mum, sometimes you really piss me off.”