A man is chosen for jury duty, who very much wants to be dismissed from serving... He tries every excuse that he can think of, but none of them work. On the day of the trial, he decides to give it one more shot... As the trial is about to begin, he asks if he can approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he says, "I must be excused from this trial, because I am prejudiced against the defendant... " "I took one look at the man over there, in the blue suit, with those beady eyes, and that dishonest face... " "And I said to myself: He’s a crook! He’s guilty, guilty, guilty!" "So, your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury." With a tired annoyance the judge replies, "Get back in the jury box... "
"That man is his lawyer."
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates... "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?", St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered... "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman."
"I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen." "So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face... " "Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." "Then I yelled, "Now, back off or I’ll kick the s#!t out of all of you!" ." St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" The cowboy replied... "Couple of minutes ago."
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