He Forgot His ID at the Bank... Then Accidentally Proved Who He Was

The Easiest ID Check Ever

Alan Pardew walked into a bank in Newcastle and asked to withdraw £5,000.

"Of course, sir," said the teller. "I'll just need to see some identification."

Pardew patted his pockets, then frowned.

"Ah... that's awkward. I don't have any ID on me today. But come on, it's Newcastle. Everyone knows who I am."

The teller shook her head.

"I'm sorry, sir. Bank policy."

"There must be something we can do?" Pardew asked.

The teller thought for a moment.

"Well, we've had situations like this before."

"Oh?"

"A few years ago, Obafemi Martins came in without ID. To prove who he was, he took a football outside and blasted it down the street. Nobody else could hit a ball like that. We knew it was him immediately."

Pardew nodded.

"Fair enough."

"And just recently, Hatem Ben Arfa had the same problem. He went outside, started juggling the ball, pulled off a few ridiculous tricks, and everyone knew it had to be him."

Pardew stood silently.

The teller smiled.

"So, Mr. Pardew... is there anything you can do that would prove you're really Alan Pardew?"

Pardew stared into space for a long moment.

Then he sighed.

"Honestly... I can't think of a single thing."

The teller nodded.

"Large notes or small notes, sir?"