An aging actor had been out of work for months when his agent finally called.
“Good news,” said the agent. “I found you a role. It’s only one line, but it’s a paying job.”
“Fantastic!” said the actor. “What’s the line?”
The agent replied,
“Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”
The actor loved it instantly.
“When’s the audition?”
“Wednesday.”
Wednesday arrived, and the actor marched onto the stage for the audition. With dramatic passion, he bellowed:
“HARK! I HEAR THE CANNONS ROAR!”
The director jumped to his feet.
“Brilliant! You’ve got the part! Opening night is Saturday at 9 PM.”
The actor was so excited he went on a massive drinking binge to celebrate.
Saturday night, he suddenly woke up at 8:30 PM.
Panicking, he threw on his clothes and sprinted toward the theater, repeating his line over and over:
“Hark! I hear the cannons roar! Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”
He burst through the theater doors, where the doorman stopped him.
“Who the hell are you?”
Out of breath, the actor replied,
“I’m Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”
The doorman shouted,
“You’re late! Get upstairs to makeup immediately!”
The actor rushed upstairs.
The makeup artist looked at him and snapped,
“Who are you?”
“I’m Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”
“Finally! Sit down!”
She quickly finished his makeup and shoved him toward the stage.
Backstage, the stage manager grabbed him.
“Who are you?!”
“I’m Hark! I hear the cannons roar!”
The manager sighed with relief.
“Thank God. You’re on NOW!”
The curtains rose.
The theater was packed.
The actor stepped forward proudly.
Then suddenly—
BOOOOOOM!!!
A massive cannon exploded behind him.
The terrified actor jumped in shock and screamed:
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” 😭
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