There was this girl, bless her heart, who was about as sharp as a marble. One freezing January day, she came running into the house, shivering.
"Mom! My hands are totally frozen! I can’t even move my fingers!"
Her mom, busy in the kitchen, gave her a bit of old-school advice: "Honey, just tuck them between your legs. Your body heat will thaw them out in no time."
The girl tried it, and it worked like magic.
The next night, she was out at the movies with her boyfriend, Jimmy. Now, Jimmy was a bit of a smooth talker. About halfway through the film, he whispered, "Man, my hands are like ice. I’m literally going numb over here."
Being a helpful girlfriend, she beamed at him. "Oh, don't worry! My mom taught me a trick. Just stick your hands right here between my legs, and they’ll be toasty in a minute."
Jimmy didn't need to be told twice. He was thrilled.
After a few minutes of "thawing out," Jimmy leaned in and whispered, "You know... I think my 'little guy' is starting to get frostbite, too."
Later that night, the girl walked into the living room where her mom was reading.
"Hey Mom," she asked, looking a little concerned. "Have you ever heard of a... you know... a penis?"
The mother nearly choked on her water. She cleared her throat and said, "Yes, honey. Why do you ask?"
The girl sighed and shook her head. "I’m just worried, Mom. Don't they make a total mess when they start to defrost?"
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