My wife is very practical, and has never really liked jewelry. Or chocolates. Or expensive clothes. She works in a lab so jewelry just gets in the way. She wears scrubs every day so expensive clothes and purses rarely see the light of day apart from date night.
So she asks for the kinds of things that only a complete jackass would ever get for his wife for Christmas, or birthdays, or Valentine's Day.
You have no idea the abject shock, horror, and disgust on the faces of the women I work with when they ask what I'm getting for my wife and I have to say, "well I got her a treadmill for her birthday and she's getting work clothes and a vacuum cleaner for Christmas."
Pure, unadulterated, highly-enriched weapons-grade anti-patriarchal rage.
"No, that's what she really wants – I swear!"
I love her to bits but sometimes I think she's asking for these things to construct a reasonable defense for justifiable homicide.... No woman on the jury would vote to convict a wife whose husband got her a Swiffer for Sweetest Day.
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