Uploaded Image
There is a diner in New Orleans that advertises that it will serve you anything you want... but if they can’t, they will give you $5,000 as an apology. A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance... Thinking it's probably a scam, he decides to try it out anyway. As he enters the diner, a waitress seats him at a table... She asks the man, "What can I get you, Sir?" The man thinks for a moment then says, "How about an elephant’s ear and a muffin?" The waitress replies, "You bet, I'll be right back with your order." The waitress then heads back to the kitchen... After waiting nearly 20 minutes, the man begins to think that this is going to be an easy $5,000. At the same moment, the waitress returns... Appearing a little anxious, the waitress asks, "I'm sorry sir... " "But would you mind telling me what kind of elephant you want this ear from?" The man is stunned... "Uhhh, how about an Indian elephant." replies the man. The waitress says, "Thank you, sir," as she heads back to the kitchen. Not a minute later, the waitress returns again... "I'm sorry sir, would you like the left or the right ear?" she asks. The man is starting to become very nervous at this point... "Uhhhh, the left ear, I guess." "Thank you, sir," replies the waitress as she returns to the kitchen... The man is beginning to wonder what he has gotten himself into, as he has no idea what an elephant ear costs. A few minutes later, the waitress returns with a platter of food and a $5,000 check... The waitress tells the man, "Here is your order sir." "And please accept this check and our apologies... " "But we are out of muffins today."

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post

My wife came home early and caught me in bed with a beautiful woman! She screamed: “You filthy pig! How can you do this to me — to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!” I said: “Honey, please… just let me explain!” She crossed her arms: “Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.” So I told her: “Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her? I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it. She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower. While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary — the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store. Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.” "I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"

There was a small church that had a very big-busted organist. Long Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her, very discreetly, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a week! The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her nipples. The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said... 'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a thermon tewday.”

One day Jesus came across a mob surrounding a woman, armed with stones. He asks what’s happening, and they explain that she’s an adulteress and that the penalty for adultery is to be stoned to death. “Is that so?”, he replies. “In that case, whoever among you is free from sin, let them cast the first stone”. A woman at the back of the mob promptly throws a rock square at the head of the adulteress, killing her instantly. Jesus looks over at the woman who threw the stone and shakes his head sadly. “Mum, sometimes you really piss me off.”