After what feels like an eternity of waiting in a crowded lobby, a man is finally called into the U.S. Patent Office... He walks in clutching a small paper bag in his hand, his invention tucked safely inside. Behind a large oak desk sits the patent officer, a man who has clearly seen a parade of half-baked ideas come through his office all day... "So, what do you have to show me?" the patent officer asks, already bracing himself for disappointment. The inventor smiles, a twinkle in his eye, and pulls a shiny red apple from his pocket... He places it on the desk with a flourish, as if revealing something extraordinary. The patent officer raises an eyebrow, unimpressed... "An apple? Seriously? That’s not exactly a groundbreaking invention." The inventor leans in, his voice brimming with enthusiasm... "Oh, no, no, no, you don’t understand. This is no ordinary apple... " "This is a special hybrid I developed myself. Go ahead, take a bite, and tell me what you think." The officer looks skeptical, but takes a cautious bite... "Tastes like an apple," he says flatly, as if he’s just confirmed his suspicions. "Turn it around and take another bite," the inventor insists, his grin widening. The officer sighs, but obliges... He bites into the other side, and suddenly his eyes widen in disbelief, "Wait a minute!... " "This tastes like an orange! How did you do that?" The inventor’s grin grows even bigger... He pulls another apple from his pocket and tosses it to the officer, "Here, try this one." The officer takes a bite, and his face lights up... "Peach! It tastes just like a peach!" "Turn it around," the inventor urges, barely able to contain his excitement. The officer flips the apple over and takes a bite... "Banana! This one’s incredible!" he says, shaking his head in awe. The patent officer leans back in his chair, clearly impressed... "This is amazing," he admits. "It’s a shame you can’t make one that tastes like a woman’s you-know-what," he says jokingly. The inventor’s smile becomes sly as he reaches into his bag once more... "Well, funny you should say that," he replies, pulling out another apple and handing it over, "Try this one." The officer eagerly bites into the apple, but almost immediately his face contorts in disgust... "This tastes like sh*t!" he exclaims, gagging a little. The inventor simply nods, unfazed, and with a knowing smile, he says... "Turn it around."
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