The River, the Wife, and the Logistics of Hollywood

A lumberjack was chopping down a tree by a river when he dropped his axe into the water.

He wept bitterly in distress, but suddenly God appeared to him and asked: "Why are you crying?"

"I've dropped my axe into the river, and now I will no longer be able to provide for my family", replied the lumberjack.

Then God reached into the river, pulled out a golden axe, and asked: "Is this your axe?"

"No, that is not my axe," the man replied.

God reached into the river again, pulled out a silver axe, and asked: "Perhaps this is your axe?"

"No, that is not my axe either," the man answered.

Finally, God reached into the river and pulled out an iron axe.

"Yes! That is my axe!", the lumberjack exclaimed joyfully.

"I see that you are an honest man who observes my commandments," said God. "Therefore, take all three axes as your reward."

The lumberjack went on to live a life of prosperity and comfort, but one day, accidentally his wife fell into the river. Once again, he could not control his emotions. And once again, God appeared to him and asked: "Why are you weeping?"

"How can I not? My wife has fallen into the river!"

Then God reached into the river, pulled out Margot Robbie, and asked: "Is this your wife?"

"Yes! That is my wife!", the lumberjack screamed in joy.

God grew angry: "You lied to me! How could you do such a thing?!"

"You see", replied the man, "there's a slight misunderstanding here. Had I answered that she was not my wife, you would have pulled Scarlett Johansson out of the river; then I would have said again that she was not my wife. Then you would have pulled out my actual wife, and I would have said, 'Yes, that is my spouse.' You would have given me all three of them, and what on earth would I have done with them? I wouldn't have been able to provide for all of us."

Moral: When men lie, they do so with dignity and for the common good.