A man reached a point in life where he was tired of the daily grind. So he quit his job, headed for the harbor, and decided he was going to live the adventurous life he'd always dreamed about.

After wandering the docks for a while, he spotted a weathered old pirate captain. The man had a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch covering one eye. He looked exactly like the kind of pirate you'd expect to see in a storybook.

Before long, the man signed on with the captain's crew, and they set sail that very afternoon.

That evening, curiosity finally got the better of him.

"Captain," he said, "if you don't mind me asking, how did you lose your leg?"

The captain nodded thoughtfully.

"Arrr, that happened on me first voyage as a young sailor. A massive wave swept me overboard. Before the crew could pull me back aboard, a giant fish came out of nowhere and bit clean through me leg."

"Good grief," the man said. "That's awful. What about your hand?"

The captain took a sip from his mug.

"That was the very next day. Another great wave knocked me into the sea. The same giant fish came along and took me hand before the crew could rescue me."

The man shook his head.

"That fish really had it in for you."

Then he pointed to the eye patch.

"So what happened to your eye?"

The captain sighed.

"Well, on the third day, I was standing on deck looking up at the sky when a seagull flew overhead and dropped a little present right into me eye."

The man stared at him.

"Wait... that's how you lost your eye?"

The captain shook his head.

"No, lad."

He held up his hook.

"That was me first day with the hook."

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