Tony and Maria go to a marriage counselor. Maria goes in first, and the counselor asks her about her concerns. "Tony is a wonderful man," says Maria. "There are just three things about him that really bother me."

"The first thing," says Maria, "is that he's a workaholic. He works so much, he has very little time left for me and the kids."

"The second thing..." says Maria "... and I know this is petty, but he's always picking his nose in public. it's embarrassing."

"And what's the third thing?" asks the counselor.

"Well," says Maria, "This is a little personal, but he never lets me get on top when we're having sex."

So the counselor sends Maria out, and asks Tony to come in.

"How is everything with your marriage?" asks the counselor.

"It'sa good," says Tony. "No complaints."

"Well, Maria had a few things she wanted me to discuss with you. First, she says you are a workaholic. Second, she says you pick your nose quite a bit in public. Third... and this is a little delicate... she says you never let her get on top when you are having sex."

And Tony says, "When I comma to this country, my father tells me three things. Three things, he tells me, to make it big in America. First: worka hard. So I worka hard. Second, he says: keepa your nose clean. So I keepa my nose clean. And third, he says: don't fuck up."

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