An older gentleman man driving an old beat up truck gets into a fender bender with CEO's Ferrari.

The CEO gets out of the car, examines the damage and decides to bully the old man.

"Hey old geezer that damage is gonna cost $50k to fix. Either you give me the money or I'll beat the shit out of you".

The old man apologizes.

"I'm so sorry sir but I don't have that kind of money. But I'll tell you what, let me call my son. He maybe able to help me out. He trains dolphins."

The old man calls his son and explains the situation then hands the phone to the CEO.

"Your father ran into my new Ferrari and if he doesn't give me the money to fix it, I'm going to beat the shit out of him. " said the CEO.

"Please don't do that. I'll be there in 10 minutes." Replied the son.

10 minutes later two military vehicles pulled up, 6 large guys came out of them and beat the shit out of the CEO.

The son goes to his dad and says "Dad I don't train dolphins. I train SEALS. Navy SEALS".

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My wife came home early and caught me in bed with a beautiful woman! She screamed: “You filthy pig! How can you do this to me — to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!” I said: “Honey, please… just let me explain!” She crossed her arms: “Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.” So I told her: “Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her? I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it. She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower. While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary — the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store. Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.” "I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"

There was a small church that had a very big-busted organist. Long Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her, very discreetly, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a week! The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her nipples. The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said... 'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a thermon tewday.”

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